I am having difficulties blogging. I think it's because although I originally set out to turn this blog into some sort of guide, some unsolicitated help blog for people dealing with the pains of immigration, I have to admit, these things do not occupy my thoughts at the moment. And like I said, this is a one woman show. None of other people's experiences will be incorporated here. It's just me and my perspective is not enough.
So I decided, I am just going to blog like I used to. Self-indulgent things with little notes on the original goal. To describe what it's like to start over and over and over again.
On a lighter but more immediate note, I did pass my written exam for driving. I decided to take it despite my overwhelming reluctance and lack of preparation because you know, fact is, in California, if you don't have a license, you also don't have a life. It's crippling to not be able to get around and do what you have to do or want to do whenever you want. One catch- I failed the vision exam so they did not issue me a student permit. However, I am getting my glasses soon so everything should be ok.
It makes me sad, sometimes, that I sort of wasted the past two years. Two years I could have spent jumpstarting a career, a vision. I sometimes feel too old and when I compare my life to some other friends, I could see that they've done more and achieved more in the past 3 years since we graduated. But I think, because I want to console myself, I think I could have been in the same place that they are in had I not left. I would have tried to be in research now or I could be getting my MA.
Another thing, one stroke of mush, if there's really one thing that makes me grateful about being here, it's the chance to get to know some people, one person in particular. I won't trade that for the world.
Ok, enough of that. Nyahahaha. So ayun nga. I sometimes feel like I'm moving so slow. But then again, this is my pace. It's not ideal but it's how it is. I want to believe that there are no mistakes, no such thing as being too late in the game. I am now excited about certain possibilities and grateful for what I've learned, anxious about what yet I have to learn. But I promised myself, no matter what, I am going to have a blast.
(See? I can't blog. What a lame ending.)
:)
So I decided, I am just going to blog like I used to. Self-indulgent things with little notes on the original goal. To describe what it's like to start over and over and over again.
On a lighter but more immediate note, I did pass my written exam for driving. I decided to take it despite my overwhelming reluctance and lack of preparation because you know, fact is, in California, if you don't have a license, you also don't have a life. It's crippling to not be able to get around and do what you have to do or want to do whenever you want. One catch- I failed the vision exam so they did not issue me a student permit. However, I am getting my glasses soon so everything should be ok.
It makes me sad, sometimes, that I sort of wasted the past two years. Two years I could have spent jumpstarting a career, a vision. I sometimes feel too old and when I compare my life to some other friends, I could see that they've done more and achieved more in the past 3 years since we graduated. But I think, because I want to console myself, I think I could have been in the same place that they are in had I not left. I would have tried to be in research now or I could be getting my MA.
Another thing, one stroke of mush, if there's really one thing that makes me grateful about being here, it's the chance to get to know some people, one person in particular. I won't trade that for the world.
Ok, enough of that. Nyahahaha. So ayun nga. I sometimes feel like I'm moving so slow. But then again, this is my pace. It's not ideal but it's how it is. I want to believe that there are no mistakes, no such thing as being too late in the game. I am now excited about certain possibilities and grateful for what I've learned, anxious about what yet I have to learn. But I promised myself, no matter what, I am going to have a blast.
(See? I can't blog. What a lame ending.)
:)
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