An Introduction...Sort Of

I left The Philippines in 2006. Though it wasn't my very first trip to the US, it was the first time I said I would be leaving home for good. Even then, the concept of for good to me was at most, 10 years. I'm on my second straight year in the US and already, that maximum is a blank space. Lower it and I'd be cheating. Add to it and I'd be jumping to conclusion.

Our petition was approved in 2001. It was a petition by my father's sister to get my dad's and his family's (me and my sister) asses to California. At the time, I never thought of the petition as a life changing thing. I always assumed that I would leave because I had to test what it was like but it never occurred to me that my decision was something that will be permanent. I thought I could take it back at whim. Maybe it was because going to the US was never a dream, never a part of my plans. I was also unsure if it will make me happy. It was something that just flopped open in my lap, awaiting my interest. I didn't put any work into it and for that, I suppose I am very lucky. Tne truth was, it was a major inconvenience in my life, seeing as how I thought I needed to adjust to a new life so foreign, so alien to me. And I justified my hesitation by thinking that I didn't need it. I was satisfied with the middle class life. I was educated and smart enough. I could make it in The Philippines. Migration then was a lot like condom. It wasn't something that could make you happy at the moment but thinking about long term, yeah, it must be wise to put it on.

It must be wise to leave. So I left.

The first year was tough. I left someone at home, left my sister, left my friends, left a lot of possibilities. I also had a period of getting all these health problems that scarred me literally and figuratively. (More on literally. I'm just overly dramatic sometimes.) I also made very few friends and I wasn't used to the climate, the lifestyle and the demands of the new life. I was homesick and to abate that, I turned my anger and sadness to our little place, to California, to the US. I berated life and people here.

In 2007, I was able to go back to The Philippines. I stayed there for almost three weeks and all through 2006, I spent most of my time concentrating on that vacation. I also refused to spend for myself because I thought I had to have a blast in The Philippines. So I spent most of April hopping different beaches, savoring everything I missed and didn't see when I was still a resident of the country and bonded with people I've missed.

When my plane finally landed in the LA, however, something did change. I heaved a huge sigh of relief. I missed The Philippines and will jump at any chance to go back but I guess, I have somehow planted most of my roots in California to such point that I began to see my what I perceived then as a miserable life as home. I was back. Home.

It dawned on me then that home is an ambiguous concept. If afterall, home is a place where you grew up in, I did a lot of growing up here and I've got a long way to go. I'm just starting. So I have two homes now and another one, for when and if I move someplace else.

So, this blog is about that. Nonsense stuff about how it is to live in an average town in the land of milk and money este honey. Oh crap that whole "freedom" bit. Most people go abroad for the money. (It wasn't my motivation for coming but it certainly is now, a motivation for staying.) I can't deal with the technicalities, I don't work for immigration. The field of vision is also very narrow. Hey, I'm just one person here. I can only draw from personal experiences and insights gathered from every little day I spend here.

But of course, I have to talk about other things. That's the one thing I can never learn-shutting up.