There is a reason why The Jowa has reached Exceptional Love status- he isn't my groupie.
I realized that for me to be truly in love with a man, the man must not, never ever, put me on a pedestal, salivate over me and basically, worship me. I guess I don't have that big of an ego as I originally thought.
Don't get me wrong- I love to be loved by the man love. The warmth it feeds you, the way it heals you when you need to be fixed, the way it makes you poised for everything that comes your way, the certainty that no matter what happens, it will never disappear-love is quite possibly the one potent thing in the world. However, much as I love being loved, I can never feel complete knowing that there is imbalance in that love. I don't want to love more and be loved less. Worse, I don't want to be loved by someone I don't see in the same light.
I realized that for me to be truly in love with a man, the man must not, never ever, put me on a pedestal, salivate over me and basically, worship me. I guess I don't have that big of an ego as I originally thought.
Don't get me wrong- I love to be loved by the man love. The warmth it feeds you, the way it heals you when you need to be fixed, the way it makes you poised for everything that comes your way, the certainty that no matter what happens, it will never disappear-love is quite possibly the one potent thing in the world. However, much as I love being loved, I can never feel complete knowing that there is imbalance in that love. I don't want to love more and be loved less. Worse, I don't want to be loved by someone I don't see in the same light.
Also, I guess this is a part of getting older (nag-feeling hehe), I realized that when I look at ballers, so-called hearthrobs, rich, fancy dudes with xylophone abs and trust funds, instead of being interested, I am repelled. Now, I dig nerds, geeks, silent, average-Joe types who have no time for such crap as beer or partying at some club. Idig the beautiful nerdy, shy boy because he is my jowa. I love the fact that he gets tipsy with red wine. Ah, how I love my celestial light.
It is long overdue but I am very, very pleased to report that The Jowa and I are doing much, much better. Gone are the torments of our previous breakup, gone are the demons that scare us both into thinking that we are wasting our time. Now we can just focus on enjoying our time together and working hard to maintain the relationship.
This is not to say that everything is perfect. Of course not. What we have is too flawed. At times, boring and annoying. We are a work in progress. Every love story is. But like any other love story, we deserve to gloat about our little fortunes once in a while.
(Wala lang, sharing and updating mode lang.)
:)
No comments:
Post a Comment